Welcome Tiny Humans

Asher Wilson 2.244kg 

Born March 26th at 7:19am

 

 Milo Judah 2.022kg

Born March 26th at 7.20am

It's taken me until today...fifteen weeks and one day, to have some time to sit and write this. My babies take up ALL OF MY TIME...ALL.OF.IT and when I *do* get a few minutes to myself, I shower/eat/try to nap.

The caesarian happened without any hiccups and before I knew it, I had TWO babies.

My long awaited dream had finally become a reality. One day these tiny people will call me Mummy.

The babies were perfect but small and had to spend time in the Special Care Nursery (SCN). Once they lost their birth weight - approximately 200grams (as all babies do) - Milo weighed a tiny 1.8kg and Asher 2kg. They were like newborn puppies and had to be nasal tube fed.

I'm planning on elaborating on much of what's in this post but want to bring it up to date first...then will go back with details when I next have time!

The boys came home on April 8th. Home being my parents house. I moved there a few weeks before I gave birth because I had to sell my apartment...too many stairs to be able to carry two babies.

Now all these months later, whilst I'm grateful for all the help and support from my parents and family, I'd love my own space.

They were circumcised when they were 8 weeks old. In my religion they should have been done at eight days, but they were too little and my paediatrician recommended I wait. That was not a fun day for anyone involved, especially my brothers, who are the boys godfathers and held them during the procedure. I presume it's an image that gets burned into your brain and can never be erased!!! I wouldn't actually know because I, along with Mum and my sisters in law, waited in the hallway.

I've "written" a dozen posts in my head in the shower or in bed but none have made it past my fingers. Now, of course, I've forgotten a lot of them. Anyhoo...I now know to jot down all my ideas to come back to later.
I want to tell you about the birth, the wonderful midwives in the SCN, breast feeding/formula, the things people say and much more...

In the past weeks, the babies have brought so much joy to my life. It's incredible what time suckers they are! One minute it's 6am, then, without me doing much at all, it's suddenly 5pm. I don't know where the days go and I seem to get nothing achieved (a perfect example is right here) but I figure if everyone's alive and happy at the end of each day...it's been a good one.

Now they're 15 weeks, my paediatrician told me I could start them on solids next week. I cannot tell you how excited I am to introduce my boys to REAL food.

Yesterday I separated the babies into their own cribs. They've been sleeping together since coming home from the Hospital but they wake one another up when they cry.

I'm posting this TONIGHT, otherwise another four weeks will go by without anything from me.

N x

Last Day

Today is the last day of my pregnancy. The whole 37 weeks of it have been so very surreal. I think I've over-used that word but I'm not sure how else to describe this feeling.

I've wanted this SO badly for SO long but as the months, then years passed, as much as I kept at it, the reality of me actually being pregnant and having a baby was getting further and further from fruition.

That's why, every time I look down at my ever growing belly, I think to myself
"this can't be me"
"I don't look like this"
But it *is* me and tomorrow the belly will be gone and in it's place will be two baby boys.

MY BABIES

When does this start feeling real???

Week 36 (all my tops are totally stretched out now)

Week 37 - last pregnancy selfie

So Very Nearly There

I've written half a dozen blog posts in my head but haven't had the energy to actually post one!!!
I'm now on couch rest, which is like bed rest but I don't have to stay in bed.

The babies were underweight a couple of weeks ago, so my Obstetrician told me I'm now not allowed to move. The less I do, the more they'll grow and as I don't want them spending weeks in the Special Care Unit after they're born, I have heeded his warning advice. It seems to have worked...two weeks ago, they weighed 1.6kg and 1.7kg each. I had another growth scan is week and now they're approximately 2.1kg and 2.2kg!!!
I will say how grateful I am that I haven't blown up during the pregnancy and have put on a total of 10 kilos. 

As long as they don't decide to make an earlier appearance, my Caesarian date is booked for March 26th...ELEVEN DAYS from today.

In the past week, I've sold my Fiat 500, which was beginning to feel like a clown car. I was having trouble getting into and out of it, and have taken delivery of my Mummy Car - a Nissan Dualis. It's great to drive and I love that I'm higher up. I need to get the baby seats fitted sometime next week.
Shit's getting real now...

I'll be on the couch if you need me x

Week 33

Week 34

Week 35 - not sure how much more my belly can stretch!

9 Things to NOT Say To Me

I adore my friends and most acquaintances but sometimes they either don't think about what's coming out of their mouths, or think it's witty/hysterical/I've never heard it before.

In the past few weeks, since I've become VERY pregnant, there's no denying, hiding (not that I ever did that) or mistaking my giant belly for having eaten too much. People who I see on my morning walk, around the hood, or FRIENDS who have known about this since day 1 are making eye-rolling comments...well, *I* think they are anyway...

1. "Wow, you're pregnant. I didn't know you are married"
    Last I knew, you neither have to be married nor in a relationship to get pregnant

2. "Do you know what you're having"
    "two boys"
    "TWINS?"
    "yeah"
    "You'll have your hands full"
     NO SHIT

3. "You're having twins?"
    "yes, that's what I said"
    "You're life is never going to be the same"  
     REALLY? I hadn't thought about that.

4.  "Twins? I hope you have lots of support"
     I do...otherwise I wouldn't be in this predicament!

5.  "I hope you're getting a lot of sleep now because you won't have any for years"
     Thanks for the positive chat

6.  "Are you moving?"
     "I'm selling my apartment and moving to my parents until I can drive again"
     "You have lots of stairs. How will you get the babies from the car?"
     ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME? I said I'm moving

7.  "No way will you still be eating as healthily as you were before you got pregnant. You
     won't have any time to prepare healthy food plus your boys will want to eat McDonalds
     once in a while and you will let them because it's easier"
     Healthy food is just as easy to prepare as crap. It's how I eat. It's MY choice. The boys
     will NOT be eating fast food. It's not the only way to bring up kids. If they don't have it
     they won't miss it.

8. "Wow, look how big you are. Do you have stretch marks?"
    Yup...look at me. I'm cooking TWO humans in my belly. It's BIG. You don't have to point
    it out, I SEE IT. Also, I've never asked you whether you have stretch marks. Between
    you and me...I don't yet and am hoping they stay away.

9. "A Cesarian? You can't have them naturally?"
    I'm SO fed up having to justify to some people why I've elected to have a Cesarian.
    *There are too many things that can go wrong with a twin birth.
    *I have lots of friends who wanted to have natural births (with singletons) and ended
    up having an emergency C-sect after hours of labor...NO THANKS
    *I just want healthy babies and am not that attached to how they arrive

There are more and I may do another post on this topic but these are the ones that topped my list.

Here are my last four weeks of selfies...

Week 28

week 29

week 30 - mood lighting

week 31 - how much bigger can my belly stretch???

    

Happy New Year

It's 2013 and this is the year I'm going to become a Mummy. I have wanted this for SO long but after all this time and so many failed IVF cycles, never thought it would actually happen.

I'm now 26 weeks and still growing daily. I can't believe changes in my body over these weeks. When I look back at photos from when I was 12 weeks and thought I was HUGE, I knew NOTHING!!!

Mt diet is still not where I'd ideally like it to be, but the sugar cravings I had in the first trimester have gone, thankfully. My appetite is still small...I can really only stomach a smoothie in the morning, a sandwich or salad for lunch and rice crackers for dinner. My social life is a tad scarce seeing as going out for dinner is not on the cards and during the holidays, most of my friends are either away or doing family stuff, so lunches are out.

it's now the middle of summer and most days are quite hot. I can go out at 6am for a walk with my dog, but after about 8am, I need to be out of the sun. I cannot believe how much it affects me now. I feel positively nauseous if I stand in the full sun for anything over about a minute. I haven't been a fan of the heat for a number of years and would much rather be in New York's winter right now!

This week I'm having my Gestational Diabetes test (fingers crossed I won't have it). The fact I'm having twins PLUS my age are strong markers for GD. I really don't want to have to give up bananas seeing as I have 1/2 a one in my smoothie every morning. Oh well, it'll only be 12 weeks and I'm sure I'll cope. No use pre-empting something until I know the results.

Week 23

week 24

 

 

 

 

week 26

Tried to add week 25, but my technical skills aren't up to scratch. It kept ending up in the wrong place and then I couldn't fix it. But you can see the difference in my size. My belly is getting higher, as opposed to rounder!

Weeks 21 and 22

The weeks are plodding along. I now look back on photos from a few weeks ago, when I thought I looked big, and laugh!!!

Here I am now...apologies for the hair!!!

Week 21

week 22

I'm feeling better, still wanting/needing a nanna nap around 2:00pm.
Cooking babies is hard work.

My niece, who turned 7 this past week, has been busting to come to a scan with me, so I took her on Friday. It's a bit hard to see exactly what the babies look like, seeing as they still resemble aliens but she loved it and that's what counted...also the fact they're healthy and growing well.

Half Way

I'm now 20 weeks!
More than half way for my pregnancy, seeing as I'll be having a c-section between 37 and 38 weeks.

My belly is growing an inch a week which is fabulous because I know the twins are also growing, but bloody scary knowing I still have 18ish weeks to go and at this rate, another eighteen inches to GROW!!!

19 weeks

and bigger again at 20 weeks!

I also did a Q and A on Mamamia last week which you can read here. I had some negative comments, whaich are always to be expected but the majority were very positive and a few women have contacted me wanting to know

Update and Me on the Telly

First of all, here are my week 17 and 18 update photos. I can see a big difference from one week to the next...

week 17 plus messy, wet hair

week 18

Now on to something I did yesterday...an interview on The Project

There was a story written in The Sun Herald about women in their late 30s, early 40s who don't have a partner and are turning to IVF and donor sperm.

Here's the story...

http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/flying-solo-more-women-abandon-search-for-prince-charming-and-opt-to-have-ivf-baby-20121110-294u5.html

There were some sore points for me in this article, but the top one was the term "social infertility". Had I not known what the article was about, I would have thought it meant someone who can't make friends.
WRONG
It refers to a woman who wants to have a baby but has no male partner, so she turns to donor sperm and IVF.
WHAT???
The person who coined this phrase obviously has never had a a problem with fertility, either personally or someone close to them because infertility to a woman who IS truly infertile, doesn't matter whether she has a male partner or not...she CANNOT GET PREGNANT.

Now, I have NO problem with women using donor sperm to get pregnant. Hell, I was one of the 40 year olds who realized my fertility window was closing and made the decision my dream of having a loving partner who wanted me to be his Baby Mumma was not happening.
After five years and seven rounds of IVF, I then came to the realization my eggs weren't viable and the ONLY way I had any chance of getting pregnant was to use an egg donor. If you've been playing along, you'd know all of this. If you're new here, you really should start from the very beginning...it's a very good place to start (now I have an earworm).

I digress - I was asked if I'd like to be on The Project to discuss the above article.
YES YES YES
There are SO many women I chat to on Twitter who are dealing with genuine infertility. Some are single, others in a relationship, but have tried for years to have a baby and failed, whilst others have a baby but only after going through the emotional roller coaster and spending big bucks on many rounds of IVF. All were seething about the words "social infertility". I needed to be their voice...

http://theprojecttv.com.au/video.htm?movideo_p=39696&movideo_m=244487

I was SO nervous but the panel made me feel very much at ease...both Meshel Laurie and Dr Andrew have twins and Carrie is (now) a single Mum, so they could all relate to some aspect of what I am about to go through!!!.

Of course, on my way home, thought of all the things I should have said, or things I meant to say, so here they are...

QUESTION: Was it a hard decision for you to become a single parent?

ANSWER: Yes, very and while I can't speak for every woman, I think a lot will agree when I say we all have that "dream life" embedded in our subconscious...Mr Right wanting to spend the rest of his life with you, kids and a family pet. When my marriage ended in my mid 30s, I figured I still had time for another relationship and babies. I did - I spent three years with a guy who was a couple of years younger than me and kept telling me he wasn't ready for kids. Shoulda listened.
That ended and after a couple more short-lived flings and a rocky on, off love affair, I found myself single and 40. A girl friend told me I should look into using a sperm donor if having a baby was so important to me (which it was/is). At first I was against it, but the seed was planted (pun intended) so I started researching it and decided it *was* a good option.

QUESTION: The IVF industry has called women who make this decision ‘socially infertile’,    what do you make of that label?

ANSWER: I think it's demeaning to those women who are genuinely infertile whether they have a male partner or not.
*I pretty much answered this when I talked about the article above.

QUESTION: What are some of the criticisms you’ve encountered as a result of your decision?

ANSWER: *sigh* There seem to be a lot of naysayers who love to critique everyone else's lives. 
- I've been told I'm too old to be a first time mother, 
- I've been told if a woman can't have a baby naturally, the Universe obviously doesn't want her to be a mother, 
- I've been told I'll damage my child/children because they won't know their birth father and ALL kids need to know this. Why? I am not sure. 

In a perfect world, all kids would grow up in a wonderful happy family, but for many, unfortunately this isn't the case. Women have what they think is a wonderful relationship, get pregnant and it all goes to shit during the pregnancy so she's left single.
 
Or the family breaks up when the kids already know their Dad and he disappears from their lives (this happened to a friend of mine). All her kids are well adjusted and not broken.

The parents are same sex. Again, I know a couple of families who have unbroken children who think nothing of it.

I'm going to tell my kids how much they were wanted and what lengths I went to to have them. I have a Father, two brothers and many male friends in my life, so there will be no shortage of testosterone or people to answer "boy" questions.

QUESTION: What do you say to those who believe people in your position should have made more of an effort to become a parent earlier in life, rather than relying on IVF later down the track?

ANSWER: I'd like to tell them to f&*k off and mind their own business, but instead I smile and say I would have loved to have had kids ten years ago, but circumstances didn't allow for it. I have no idea whether I could have EVER had them naturally, so even when I was married, I might have had to have IVF but I'll never know and have put that out of my mind because there's no use dwelling on the past.

Young girls spend their teenage to at least mid to late 20s trying to NOT get pregnant, so when we're finally at the stage for wanting kids, it's sometimes later than our bodies are prepared for. Egg quality diminishes at 35, which, in this day and age, is not considered old. Thankfully we live in a time where IVF isn't taboo and, whilst it's not inexpensive, a lot is Medicare funded.

For this...I am grateful 

N x

Weeks 15 and 16 - Or, I Can't See My Feet

Week 15 was pretty easy. I had an appointment with my OB, had a scan and the babies are growing as they should.

15 weeks

 During the scan, my Dr asked whether I wanted to know the genders...HELLS YES.
The doctors here, in Australia are not allowed to tell the patient verbally before the 19 week scan as there is still the ability to have a termination. I am shocked anyone would terminate a fetus at 16 weeks because of gender, but that's me and apparently there have been cases.
During the ultrasound, he pointed out what I could look for. I definitely saw a penis on one of the twins, but the other was all hands and feet and wouldn't get into a position where we could easily see. 

S0, I was given two envelopes containing pink or blue sugar almonds which I carried, unopened, back to my office. I already knew one was going to be blue. Whenever friends have asked what I'd rather have, I've always said I don't care as long as they're healthy.

Clearly I did care because...

I wanted to cry. I have NO idea why because I am SO SO SO very happy to be pregnant and having,  not one baby, but TWO. I think I'd just always thought I would have a girl even though there is always a 50/50 chance I wouldn't!!! All my names are girl names.
I now have a new project...get together a list of potential boy's names.

Week 16 - starting to look less like I've eaten too much and more like I'm pregnant

 My next scan is the biggie...19 weeks. It's the 3D one where I will find out for sure what they both are. I seem to always be waiting for the next ultrasound.

N x

Weeks 13 and 14

I've started taking a weekly photo to show my growing belly, which now seems to be getting bigger by the day.

I'll post the pics here so you can play along...

Week 13

Week 14

Why Australians Go Overseas for Donor Eggs

This story was written by Jordan Baker and was in the Sunday Telegraph on September 30th 2012.

It certainly rings true with me as this is the reason I ended up getting my donor eggs from a clinic in Athens. There is neither an egg nor sperm donor program in Australia like there are in a lot of other countries throughout the world.

Please read the article so you get a better understanding of just how difficult it is for Australian women and couples needing an egg donor.

All Stitched Up

This week I went into hospital for a day surgery procedure to have a cervical stitch put in...to stop the twins deciding they want to come out early. This is also done for pregnant women who have gone into premature labor in the past. It's usually taken out at week 37... that way labor can happen naturally and at a healthy time for the baby. For me, it will stay in until after my caesarian because the OB does NOT want me to go into labor!

It was a lot easier than I'd imagined.

I had to be at the hospital at 6:30am for an 8:00am procedure. Perfect...first patient for my Doctor that day, which meant he'd be on time. Which he was. WIN

Calling it a "stitch" is a bit of an huge understatement! It's actually more like a piece of tape that's about 15cm in length and has a metal hook at either end. I was a bit lot surprised when my OB showed it me what it looked like, when I was in his office the week before.

I was more surprised when I woke up from surgery an hour later and felt nothing...as in no pain, not nothing like I was numb! After forcing down a white bread sandwich and a cup of tea, I was allowed to go home. A girl friend picked me up and I was back in my apartment by 11:00am.

The rest of the day was spent lying on the couch and generally taking it easy, but apart from some bleeding, which I was told may happen for at least a week, I'm fine. No pain. After next week when I go for my check up, I can start back at yoga. Something I've been really missing.

I'm now in my 2nd Trimester and still in shock when I tell people I'm pregnant!!! I feel SO blessed that I am finally living something I've dreamed about for.so.long.

12 Week Scan

Every time I have a scan I get a shock when I first look at the screen and there are TWO babies!

I made it to 12 weeks and had my Nuchal Translucency (NT) scan on Friday. This is done instead of and before an amniocentesis as it's non invasive. The babies are measured and checked that everything is growing as it should and everything's good in ma belleh!

Until I know the sex of the babies, I'm calling them B1 and B2. Now B1 was very cooperative during the scan. He/she lay very still so it was easy to take all the measurements and pics. B2 was another story...he/she was curled up and would NOT move! I had to wiggle around. That's meant to help. It did, a bit, but B2 kept moving.
It took twice as long to measure B2 than B1, but both are gorgeous and perfect.

B1

B2

I don't need an amnio...it all depends on the age of the eggs and my donor is 20 years old. I'm on the lower side of the lowest scale.
Thank goodness
Having two needles stuck in me was not anything I was looking forward to. Also the chance of a miscarriage with an amnio is quite high and higher with twins.

Next...cervical stitch. I'll find out when I'm having that when I see my OB later today.

N x

Week Eleven

I cannot believe how nauseous I still feel...but I'm learning to live with it...no choice really.

This is going to be a bit of a ranty post, but it's my blog, so I'm not going to apologize. I just wanted to warn you.

All my friends...actually EVERY woman to whom I've told that I'm pregnant, has a story about her or a friend's experience with morning sickness/exhaustion/birth. I welcome other's anecdotes as long as they're shortish and pleasant. However, every now and then someone doesn't think that what is in their brain should not be formed into spoken words.

Here's just one example...

Me: How was your trip to Los Angeles

Girl Friend (GF): It was great, caught up with lots of my friends but there was something that I can't stop thinking about that happened which was awful.

Me: Oh no...what?

GF: I wasn't going to tell you, because, you know, you're pregnant and this is about a friend who was also pregnant.

Me: Ummm, well now you've started and if you want to tell me the story, go ahead. (I was kind of hoping she was going to say NO, I'll save it until you've had the babies..but the words kept comin' out of her mouth).

She went on to tell me how this friend of hers was 25 weeks pregnant and had a miscarriage whilst she was visiting. Every second sentence was "I really didn't want to tell you this"

THEN PLEASE DON'T

It's a very sad story and I realize things like this happen to many women, but, you know what, I have been trying to have a baby for SO MANY YEARS and now that I finally am, I just want to hear about butterflies and fairies.

Friends...this is one of many stories I've heard since being pregnant, whether in person or on social media (Twitter or FaceBook). Please think about what you are about to say to someone BEFORE hand...it could really upset the recipient.

N x

Meeting A New Doctor

This week I had my first obstetrician (OB from now on) appointment.
Sitting in the waiting room, I realized how different to mood was there to the one at the fertility clinic. The women at the clinic don't make eye contact and everyone is "hopeful". They're there for a blood test to check hormone levels. The results of which will tell them when they can start their IVF cycle/change, up medication/when their egg pick up will be/if they're pregnant.

In the OB's waiting room, however, all the women ARE pregnant. Most have probably never seen a fertility clinic and are lucky enough to conceive naturally. I like this waiting room. PLUS, I didn't even have to wait very long.

He answered all my questions, explained what's going to happen in the next couple of weeks and did an ultra sound. They're still there...tiny hearts beating away.

I left with a giant folder full of information and a book titled TWINS

Still.cannot.believe.it

Nine Point Three Weeks

Yesterday I had another scan. I was fine until about an hour before, when the anxiety started. It wasn't because I thought anything bad had happened, more that I was a bit worried the Doctor might find that the third embryo was actually still there!!!

Thankfully that didn't happen!!!

The twins are there. It's still a bit very surreal

They look a bit like astronauts

They now have heads, stumps for arms, legs and even knees. Bloody amazing.
Cannot believe they're inside ME!!!

After three years of visiting my fertility Doctor, today's visit was my last. I thought I was with him until week 12, but nope. He recommended an Obstetrician, who is the one I have been asking around about and hearing only good things.
I bade everyone farewell and promised to visit when my belly is HUGE!

When I got home, I called the OB and have an appointment on Friday...
Thus begins a new chapter

N x

Eight Weeks Down

I'm now eight weeks pregnant. It's been such a long road to get to this point, I still find it weird to say, and even type the words
"I'm pregnant"

Three weeks ago, on a Friday afternoon, I started bleeding and, naturally, I totally freaked out.
FREAKED THE FUCK OUT actually.

I called my Doctor's emergency pager number and whilst waiting for him to return my call I Tweeted about what was happening. I couldn't believe the responses. I was NOT alone. This happens to LOTS of pregnant women, sometimes it's a one-off, other times they bleed for days/weeks/the whole pregnancy.
PHEW
By the time my Doctor called back, which was only about 20 minutes after I paged him, I was feeling a tad better. He talked me off the ledge saying pretty much exactly what I'd just been told. Also, there was really nothing to be done except keep taking my hormones and wait 10 days (TEN DAYS) for my first scan. He said I was welcome to come in on the Monday but was a week too early to see any heartbeat, so it would be kind of useless.

I resigned myself to the fact that truthfully, I was doing everything right and hopefully it was one of the three embryos that didn't attach, making a dramatic exit. I bled most of the weekend, but not as badly as Friday night. I still had all the same symptoms...sore boobs, all day nausea and beyond tired by 10:30pm, so I was pretty sure I was still pregnant. Just to be *sure* I bought more pee sticks and, sure enough, they kept coming up positive.

Just some of the pee stick tests I invested in

I spent a lot of the week with a friend who was visiting from New York. He and I had severed ties 18 months before. He made contact with me a few weeks ago, emailing me to let me know he's been thinking about me and he's having a mid life crisis and he'd love me to respond but wasn't sure whether I would.
I did and we started emailing back and forth, just like we'd never stopped. He told me he was contemplating coming to Australia to see a friend of his who lives in Queensland and would definitely visit Sydney but felt strange coming without me knowing.
WHAT?
HERE?
NO WAY
YES!!!

So, as perfect timing would have it, the week before my scan, when I really needed to have my mind focused elsewhere, he arrived. It was awkward for about one second when we met at a movie theater...between when I first saw him to when he gave me a hug.
All good

It only took me about ten minutes to tell him about me being pregnant!!! We were early for the film, so we sat in the bar area. He asked a couple of times if I wanted a glass of wine and I had to say no thanks. To curb the same question at dinner after and any meals following, I decided this was as good a time as any.
He was shocked at first, but only because my news came out of left field...he was and still is, very happy for me.

This was the week my nausea and tiredness started getting worse! After the movie we went to dinner. I absolutely love(d) the menu at the restaurant but took one look at it and realized there was not one thing I wanted to eat. We settled on sharing 2 pasta dishes. I ate exactly three mouthfuls. By 10:00 I was ready for bed so he put me in a cab which I nearly fell asleep in!!!

The same thing happened the following night and the one after that. I'd told him about a great new restaurant that had opened only a couple of weeks before and was getting great reviews. it just happened to be attached to the hotel he was staying in!!! We ordered their signature dishes, one of which is Peking duck and I basically forced myself to eat them. The food is really good and I'm now looking forward to returning when I have an appetite so I can enjoy what I'm eating.

Finally came Scan Day. Mum insisted on coming with me, which was fine. She'd been with me (in the building, not in the room) for my transfer, so I felt it was right to let her do the same for my first scan. I made her wait in the Doctor's office. Not because I'm a bitch, because I wanted to find out on my own first.

FAR THE FUCK OUT...I'm carrying TWINS

Well, this is head shaking, tear making stuff.

I still can't get my head around it and don't think I will until I start showing, which will be ???

I'm really nauseous all day...the only thing I can equate it to, for those who have never experienced morning sickness (also everyone's morning sickness is different) is that I feel car sick every moment of the day...AND NIGHT. I also have overwhelming tiredness. So much so, that I've been having a nap most afternoons if I can and have now been going to bed at about 8:30pm!!!
I cannot make arrangements unless it's before 11:00am because I don't know how I'm going to feel. Mornings are my best time. My friends, thankfully, are understanding because they've all been there done that.

Home Again

The horrible two week wait after IVF embryo transfers is exactly that...HORRIBLE.
During this time, I decided I should do some pee stick tests or POAS - pee on a stick. For the very first time EVER, including every IVF cycle, I started getting positive results.

OMFGIcannotbelieveit

I couldn't believe it, so kept buying them...as you do. I was also feeling a bit off and very tired but put it down to jet lag.
The morning finally came that I could go for my blood test. I was there at 7am but knew I'd have to wait until the afternoon for the results as they had to go back to the Doctor first. As you can imagine, I was unable to function!!!
A girlfriend called check up on me and insisted we go for lunch. I agreed, because I knew there was no way she'd let me stay home alone.

She picked me up and we went to a local cafe, where I spent the next hour forcing down food and glancing at my iPhone...waiting, waiting, waiting for THE call.

Finally, we decided to leave. I was going to call the clinic from the car, but as we left the cafe, my phone rang...it was my Doctor.

"My Dear, you are definitely PREGNANT"

I burst into tears in the middle of the street. Literally, I was standing on the median strip with cars and buses driving by on both sides of me and there was I, shaking, with tears streaming down my face.

My friend, after we hugged, ushered me into the car to breathe and regroup. She drove me home so i could begin making the phone calls to family and friends...and announce it on Twitter. I *had* to because all my Tweeps (followers) had come to Athens with me and, whatever the outcome, needed to know.

N x

Greece is the Word Part 2

The first three nights we were in Athens, we stayed in a hotel in the city. I couldn't get the apartment for the whole time we were there. After weeks of deliberation, I booked two rooms - one each for Mum and me. It wasn't perfect, especially as it was too hot to go out between 2:00-7:00pm and the hotel had no pool (no idea how *that* got past me), so we were stuck in our rooms most of the afternoon.

The city of Athens is hot, dirty and full of back packers. Not my scene at all. However, the best part of being there was finding a vegetarian, mainly raw cafe that I'd been reading about called Avocado, which just so happened to be literally around the corner from the hotel.

My first appointment at the clinic was the day after we arrived. The cab ride wasn't long, the wait at the clinic WAS...it was two and a half hours!!! Luckily my Doctor in Sydney had warned me about this and we went armed with ipads, books and snacks. However, it was more fun people watching than reading!
The clinic, Athens Genesis Hospital, was so much more than I'd expected. I'm not actually sure what I thought it was going to be like, but this was pristine. The staff are all very friendly, most speak English, it's was SO busy with patients coming in and, above all...CLEAN.

My name was finally called and I was ushered into Dr Kostas Pantos' office. The clinic is his...HE IS THE man everyone comes to see. I realized why the wait to see him is so friggin long - he doesn't watch the time.
There's no "Ok, your time is up." He answered all my questions and Mum's...of which there were many and when we were satisfied with all answers, he sent me off with a script as long as my arm for a lot of (fertility) drugs and told me to return the following week for my transfer.

All I know about my egg donor is that she's 20 years old. No.other.information...BUT they had SIX viable embryos for me...SIX. All would be unfrozen and left for five days. Commonly known in the IVF world as blastocyst.

We had a whole week to explore our new surroundings in Glyfada. The area is only 15 minutes by cab from the center of Athens but the total antithesis!!! It's by the ocean, open spaces, clean, the stores and restaurants are beautiful and as I said in my last post, the apartment was spectacular.
SO. GLAD. I. FOUND. IT

Six days later, I returned to the clinic for the reason I was in Greece...my embryo TRANSFER.

The whole procedure took about 10 minutes. Three embryos were transferred. This is common procedure for the Doctor there for patients over 40 years old. He says there's more chance of one taking. I, however, am healthier than most women over 40!

My Embies...I named them Huey, Luey and Duey

Back to the apartment for the remainder of the day to rest and we left the following day.

Greece is the Word - part 1

You've probably all thought I ran off and joined the circus...or went into the witness protection program, but you were mistaken.
I'm here. I was getting bored with telling the same roller coaster with the sad ending over and over.

The egg donor here found out her egg reserve was low, so it wasn't right for her to donate again. I wish this test had been done before she'd been offered to me the first time. It would have saved me more heartbreak and money.

So...the only way I was going to get donor eggs was to go outside Australia. My fertility Doctor has affiliates in Cape Town, South Africa and in Athens, Greece.
The person in charge of the donor program is his wife, Denise, so I made an appointment with her to talk options. I'll skip over the boring stuff and say I chose the Athens clinic.

Being summer in Europe, the clinic closes for the month of August, so we had to move fast as I was the last patient they were sending until September. Denise, organized everything with the Athens clinic and started me on the hormone medications I needed to be taking.
I booked flights and accommodation, organized someone to look after Ollie, my dog and did all the preliminary freaking out
"Am I going to the right place?"
"Is Athens safe?"
"Will the clinic be clean?"
"WILL THIS WORK?"

The week before I was scheduled to leave, my Mum decided she'd come with me. This meant I had to re-look at accommodation as I'd booked a one bedroom apartment. I figured if I was going for 10 days, it'd be much more comfortable to have more room to move around in than just a hotel room. Also, I'm not a fan of eating out for every meal if I have the option.

There are a couple of sites I like and trust and trawled through them looking for a two bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment in an area of Athens that looked safe! Having not been to Greece in a couple of decades, I wasn't au fait with the city at all. I'd been told about good neighborhoods, so was focusing there. 

I finally found a superb apartment, in an area called Glyfada, which is touted as being the Beverly Hills of Athens. Said apartment had all the amenities we needed PLUS a PRIVATE POOL.
Booked...

Our private pool

Me and my breakfast smoothie

N x