Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Change of pace...

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I have nothing new to write about my impending pregnancy, so I thought I'd switch gears...

Before I began my foray into Sperm Bank Land I was Internet dating (still am). Hey, I needed to find my Prince Charming/Baby Daddy. People, ie, my Mother, would say "you should get out, you're not going to meet anyone in your living room", but you CAN. With the help of the Internet you're able to troll the dating sites, find someone you might like, organize to meet him and buy a new outfit for your first date, including your sweats, make-up free, eating B & J's chocolate fudge brownie frozen yoghurt and no one on the other side of the screen is any the wiser.

I've had some really awful dates, many of which I now dub "one drink dates". The ones where I turn up and by the time my first drink arrives (I'm not a "let's meet for coffee" girl. I'd rather meet after work, at a bar), I've already started making up my exit strategy. Why is it that you can have a great repore with someone via email, instant messaging and even the phone, but when you meet face to face there's absolutely NO chemistry, none, zip, zilch, nada....for me anyway. Often the guy is oblivious to how I feel and wants a 2nd thank you....NEXT.

I went on one very weird date. He suggested I meet him at the marina where his boat was mored. Sure, sounded off I went. I arrived at the designated place by the water and called him. He was on his boat, which I finally found, not because I couldn't understand the directions, because I was looking for a real boat!!! This was a small old wooden thing...I mean boat. Maybe I was missing something. We exchanged pleasantries and I got on the boat. After the first glass of champagne I found out this was where HE LIVED. I wasn't exaggerating when I said the boat was small...and it didn't have a bathroom...well, it had a thing like a port-a-loo, but no shower. I had to ask what he did in the winter (I live on the East Coast) and his reply was he wasn't sure as this was the first year he didn't have an apartment as well. He'd given it up to live here. He was thinking maybe he would sleep in his office because, as he kept telling me, he was very successful. Ummm, all I could think of was "get me off this crazy ride".

I had organized with one of my girl friends to call me - oldie but a goodie - and made out that I had to pick up her daughter blah blah. So I left as fast as I could without looking like I was running to a shoe sale.

I do have to say this...I was wearing jeans. I always wear them, as do most people I know, men and women. They're more comfortable than a dress and I knew I was going on a boat...and thought I'd be in appropriate attire. I'm saying this because I'm going to show you the email I received the following day and had to set the stage...I'll say no more....


Sorry. I wasnt a very good date last night. It wasnt very chivalrous of
me. And you were so good about getting together on short notice.

I am just always disappointed on a first date when a woman shows up wearing
pants which is the vast majority of the time on match. I realize that
there is probably not a message being sent, but it is a flaw of mine that I
think it is. I believe I am being told that I am not worth the effort.
Sometimes, when I see a woman in a dress out with a man, I look at him and
wonder what makes him better than me.

I have always felt that the woman that I am going to marry will be wearing
women's clothing when we first meet.

I have reflected on this and think that since it is about the only issue
about women that I have (that I am aware of anyhow) I am not going to worry
too much about it. It probably comes from growing up in the 70s when women
were adamantly against wearing skirts.

This is the first time I have written an apology after a first date I am
thinking it is a good practice. I am also thinking about putting in my
profile something along the lines of not a problem if you want to wear
jeans at our wedding, but please consider wearing a skirt on our first
date. Actually, I wonder why women wear dresses to their weddings if they
are against wearing them on dates seems inconsistent of them. A first date
is a prerequisite for a wedding isnt it?

You are an attractive, articulate woman and whoever is with you is

Please accept my apology and give Ollie a scratch behind his ear for me.



Have you wiped the tears (from laughing) away yet?

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