Sliding Doors

You remember the movie with Gwyneth Paltrow....Your fate is decided by the decisions you make. If you take five minutes extra to get ready one morning and you miss the train, on the next one, the one you never catch, is the man/woman of your dreams. It's a lame analogy I know, but you get the idea.

I'm telling you this because I spoke to my friend yesterday morning, the one whose house sitter/co worker od'd. I asked her how the girl was and if there were any repercussions. This was her response...

"She's ok and YES, of course there were. You know I don't understand why she chose to do it. I understand being upset over a guy (they found out after that the girl had had an argument with her boyfriend), but c'mon it wasn't her house, or her prescription pills. My boyfriend feels responsible because they were his, even though we all keep telling him he shouldn't. She's 30, not 18 and old enough to make wise choices, or so we thought.

Now, her job is in jeopardy, she will probably have ongoing health problems, her boyfriend wants nothing to do with her and she has to go to a psychologist EVERY week. If she misses a week, they will make her go to a facility. It was a split second decision, well, not split second because she had to find the pills, but it was a decision she made that had dire consequences. I don't think she really meant to kill herself, just ease whatever pain she was in emotionally, but she's affected not only her life, but the lives of many other people. This fact, she did not take into consideration as she swallowed the multitude of pretty colored pills."

Every day every one of us has choices we must make, some more difficult than others....do I want peanut butter or honey on my toast? Should I fill up with gas here where it's a gazillion dollars or wait to see what the price is down the road (where it ends up being 20 cents more)? To things that are really life changing...should we get married? Should we have a baby? Should I take the job with the cute boss, or the one with all the benefits? I'm upset, maybe I'll take these pills....you get the jist.

A lot of thought went into my decision to get pregnant (which better happen soon). I know the final outcome...I'll have a baby. I'm well aware that it won't be the easiest thing I've done, but it's something I've wanted for a very long time. One of my brothers, while he supports my decision, tried to talk me out of it. Funnily enough he's been the only one out of my family and all my friends and while I listened to what he had to say, and don't disagree with most of it, there are more positives than negatives.

So, maybe if I wouldn't have had that relationship with that guy a few years ago, I might have met someone else whom I would have married and had kids with, but we can't change the past, so you have to look forward and learn from the choices you made.