Update and Me on the Telly

First of all, here are my week 17 and 18 update photos. I can see a big difference from one week to the next...

week 17 plus messy, wet hair

week 18

Now on to something I did yesterday...an interview on The Project

There was a story written in The Sun Herald about women in their late 30s, early 40s who don't have a partner and are turning to IVF and donor sperm.

Here's the story...

http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/flying-solo-more-women-abandon-search-for-prince-charming-and-opt-to-have-ivf-baby-20121110-294u5.html

There were some sore points for me in this article, but the top one was the term "social infertility". Had I not known what the article was about, I would have thought it meant someone who can't make friends.
WRONG
It refers to a woman who wants to have a baby but has no male partner, so she turns to donor sperm and IVF.
WHAT???
The person who coined this phrase obviously has never had a a problem with fertility, either personally or someone close to them because infertility to a woman who IS truly infertile, doesn't matter whether she has a male partner or not...she CANNOT GET PREGNANT.

Now, I have NO problem with women using donor sperm to get pregnant. Hell, I was one of the 40 year olds who realized my fertility window was closing and made the decision my dream of having a loving partner who wanted me to be his Baby Mumma was not happening.
After five years and seven rounds of IVF, I then came to the realization my eggs weren't viable and the ONLY way I had any chance of getting pregnant was to use an egg donor. If you've been playing along, you'd know all of this. If you're new here, you really should start from the very beginning...it's a very good place to start (now I have an earworm).

I digress - I was asked if I'd like to be on The Project to discuss the above article.
YES YES YES
There are SO many women I chat to on Twitter who are dealing with genuine infertility. Some are single, others in a relationship, but have tried for years to have a baby and failed, whilst others have a baby but only after going through the emotional roller coaster and spending big bucks on many rounds of IVF. All were seething about the words "social infertility". I needed to be their voice...

http://theprojecttv.com.au/video.htm?movideo_p=39696&movideo_m=244487

I was SO nervous but the panel made me feel very much at ease...both Meshel Laurie and Dr Andrew have twins and Carrie is (now) a single Mum, so they could all relate to some aspect of what I am about to go through!!!.

Of course, on my way home, thought of all the things I should have said, or things I meant to say, so here they are...

QUESTION: Was it a hard decision for you to become a single parent?

ANSWER: Yes, very and while I can't speak for every woman, I think a lot will agree when I say we all have that "dream life" embedded in our subconscious...Mr Right wanting to spend the rest of his life with you, kids and a family pet. When my marriage ended in my mid 30s, I figured I still had time for another relationship and babies. I did - I spent three years with a guy who was a couple of years younger than me and kept telling me he wasn't ready for kids. Shoulda listened.
That ended and after a couple more short-lived flings and a rocky on, off love affair, I found myself single and 40. A girl friend told me I should look into using a sperm donor if having a baby was so important to me (which it was/is). At first I was against it, but the seed was planted (pun intended) so I started researching it and decided it *was* a good option.

QUESTION: The IVF industry has called women who make this decision ‘socially infertile’,    what do you make of that label?

ANSWER: I think it's demeaning to those women who are genuinely infertile whether they have a male partner or not.
*I pretty much answered this when I talked about the article above.

QUESTION: What are some of the criticisms you’ve encountered as a result of your decision?

ANSWER: *sigh* There seem to be a lot of naysayers who love to critique everyone else's lives. 
- I've been told I'm too old to be a first time mother, 
- I've been told if a woman can't have a baby naturally, the Universe obviously doesn't want her to be a mother, 
- I've been told I'll damage my child/children because they won't know their birth father and ALL kids need to know this. Why? I am not sure. 

In a perfect world, all kids would grow up in a wonderful happy family, but for many, unfortunately this isn't the case. Women have what they think is a wonderful relationship, get pregnant and it all goes to shit during the pregnancy so she's left single.
 
Or the family breaks up when the kids already know their Dad and he disappears from their lives (this happened to a friend of mine). All her kids are well adjusted and not broken.

The parents are same sex. Again, I know a couple of families who have unbroken children who think nothing of it.

I'm going to tell my kids how much they were wanted and what lengths I went to to have them. I have a Father, two brothers and many male friends in my life, so there will be no shortage of testosterone or people to answer "boy" questions.

QUESTION: What do you say to those who believe people in your position should have made more of an effort to become a parent earlier in life, rather than relying on IVF later down the track?

ANSWER: I'd like to tell them to f&*k off and mind their own business, but instead I smile and say I would have loved to have had kids ten years ago, but circumstances didn't allow for it. I have no idea whether I could have EVER had them naturally, so even when I was married, I might have had to have IVF but I'll never know and have put that out of my mind because there's no use dwelling on the past.

Young girls spend their teenage to at least mid to late 20s trying to NOT get pregnant, so when we're finally at the stage for wanting kids, it's sometimes later than our bodies are prepared for. Egg quality diminishes at 35, which, in this day and age, is not considered old. Thankfully we live in a time where IVF isn't taboo and, whilst it's not inexpensive, a lot is Medicare funded.

For this...I am grateful 

N x

Greece is the Word Part 2

The first three nights we were in Athens, we stayed in a hotel in the city. I couldn't get the apartment for the whole time we were there. After weeks of deliberation, I booked two rooms - one each for Mum and me. It wasn't perfect, especially as it was too hot to go out between 2:00-7:00pm and the hotel had no pool (no idea how *that* got past me), so we were stuck in our rooms most of the afternoon.

The city of Athens is hot, dirty and full of back packers. Not my scene at all. However, the best part of being there was finding a vegetarian, mainly raw cafe that I'd been reading about called Avocado, which just so happened to be literally around the corner from the hotel.

My first appointment at the clinic was the day after we arrived. The cab ride wasn't long, the wait at the clinic WAS...it was two and a half hours!!! Luckily my Doctor in Sydney had warned me about this and we went armed with ipads, books and snacks. However, it was more fun people watching than reading!
The clinic, Athens Genesis Hospital, was so much more than I'd expected. I'm not actually sure what I thought it was going to be like, but this was pristine. The staff are all very friendly, most speak English, it's was SO busy with patients coming in and, above all...CLEAN.

My name was finally called and I was ushered into Dr Kostas Pantos' office. The clinic is his...HE IS THE man everyone comes to see. I realized why the wait to see him is so friggin long - he doesn't watch the time.
There's no "Ok, your time is up." He answered all my questions and Mum's...of which there were many and when we were satisfied with all answers, he sent me off with a script as long as my arm for a lot of (fertility) drugs and told me to return the following week for my transfer.

All I know about my egg donor is that she's 20 years old. No.other.information...BUT they had SIX viable embryos for me...SIX. All would be unfrozen and left for five days. Commonly known in the IVF world as blastocyst.

We had a whole week to explore our new surroundings in Glyfada. The area is only 15 minutes by cab from the center of Athens but the total antithesis!!! It's by the ocean, open spaces, clean, the stores and restaurants are beautiful and as I said in my last post, the apartment was spectacular.
SO. GLAD. I. FOUND. IT

Six days later, I returned to the clinic for the reason I was in Greece...my embryo TRANSFER.

The whole procedure took about 10 minutes. Three embryos were transferred. This is common procedure for the Doctor there for patients over 40 years old. He says there's more chance of one taking. I, however, am healthier than most women over 40!

My Embies...I named them Huey, Luey and Duey

Back to the apartment for the remainder of the day to rest and we left the following day.

Greece is the Word - part 1

You've probably all thought I ran off and joined the circus...or went into the witness protection program, but you were mistaken.
I'm here. I was getting bored with telling the same roller coaster with the sad ending over and over.

The egg donor here found out her egg reserve was low, so it wasn't right for her to donate again. I wish this test had been done before she'd been offered to me the first time. It would have saved me more heartbreak and money.

So...the only way I was going to get donor eggs was to go outside Australia. My fertility Doctor has affiliates in Cape Town, South Africa and in Athens, Greece.
The person in charge of the donor program is his wife, Denise, so I made an appointment with her to talk options. I'll skip over the boring stuff and say I chose the Athens clinic.

Being summer in Europe, the clinic closes for the month of August, so we had to move fast as I was the last patient they were sending until September. Denise, organized everything with the Athens clinic and started me on the hormone medications I needed to be taking.
I booked flights and accommodation, organized someone to look after Ollie, my dog and did all the preliminary freaking out
"Am I going to the right place?"
"Is Athens safe?"
"Will the clinic be clean?"
"WILL THIS WORK?"

The week before I was scheduled to leave, my Mum decided she'd come with me. This meant I had to re-look at accommodation as I'd booked a one bedroom apartment. I figured if I was going for 10 days, it'd be much more comfortable to have more room to move around in than just a hotel room. Also, I'm not a fan of eating out for every meal if I have the option.

There are a couple of sites I like and trust and trawled through them looking for a two bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment in an area of Athens that looked safe! Having not been to Greece in a couple of decades, I wasn't au fait with the city at all. I'd been told about good neighborhoods, so was focusing there. 

I finally found a superb apartment, in an area called Glyfada, which is touted as being the Beverly Hills of Athens. Said apartment had all the amenities we needed PLUS a PRIVATE POOL.
Booked...

Our private pool

Me and my breakfast smoothie

N x

The Next Steps

I HAVE EMBRYOS.

My donor had her egg pick up yesterday. After I was told on Saturday, it was touch and go whether the head nurse was going to recommend she cancel the cycle because she had only three follicles. Then on Monday, I was told another one had appeared over the weekend and my donor was going to be triggered that night. This means having the last shot which boosts her hormone levels. Egg pick up is always scheduled exactly 36 hours after. You usually have to set an alarm to wake up in the middle of the night to inject yourself.

So...the doctor collected five eggs, of which three have matured after their egg/sperm date last night and there's one that is iffy.

Over the past six weeks, I've been on Syneral twice a day. Then two weeks ago, I was told to start taking another hormone called Progynova...three times a day. Now that my Donor has had her harvest, I've stopped the Syneral and am having to insert Progesterone Pesseries three times a day. All I can say is thank goodness for my iphone calendar which alerts me to everything, otherwise there's no way I'd remember when to take what!!!

The Clinic wants me to have the transfer tomorrow afternoon. Any other day of any other week, this would not be a problem. Tomorrow, however, I've been asked to be on MamaMia. A tv show on cable, to talk about sperm donors.
I asked whether it was possible to wait until Saturday. I mean, if the embryos are strong, I would have thought one extra day together in the Petrie dish would be a good thing.
The Doctor agreed to Saturday morning.

This is a good week...

I'm bursting my TV cherry AND I'm going to be pregnant.