Etiquette

Ok, so I only received feedback from one of my girl friends regarding when I should tell a guy I'm dating. She thinks not til he shows some sort of commitment ie, says he loves me. While I don't totally agree with this, she's a very good friend and I will certainly take it under advisement.

I don't want any guy I date to think I'm deceiving him, or keeping secrets. But on the other hand, I don't want to tell someone too early so he freaks out thinking I'm looking for someone to step in as Daddy.

I'm sure Emily Post doesn't have a solution, so I kinda need some feedback please. Leave your comments below please.

Men, can't live without them....

On Monday, whilst spending most of the day horizontal, I made my plight known to lot more of my friends. I posted my story and blog address on a message board that I am a member of.

I was pleasantly surprised at the outpouring of support and since then, have had guys from there, offer their "services". Funnily enough, when I ask whether they are planning on Fedexing their sperm to me, they've all suggested it should be done au natural.

"So do you have unprotected sex with strangers, often?"

Has been a question I've asked more than once in the past few days.

"No, not at all, but I'd do it for you"

Is the answer I've been hearing...

Also, I'm still dating, not because I'm looking for a sugar daddy, I just figure, why stop. It's certainly not a secret and if and when I meet someone, I would hope they will understand my case for doing this and still want to be with me.

It's not a topic I would broach on a first date, obviously, but after going on a date on Tuesday night and praying he didn't ask what I did on my day off (the day before), I'm wondering what number date it should be. Or not at all until I know if I'm pregnant......

Whoo hoo

I got my Fit Flops. They're silver and very shiny. I think I might wear them like house slippers just so I get the full benefits.

As I said in my last post, I had today off work and was planning on going into the city to do some much needed shopping and catch up with a girl friend. That all fell through...she called to say she couldn't meet me today and the weather people kept saying we were going to have a terrible storm, another terrible storm, like we haven't had enough, with hail and stuff which didn't thrill me. Oh well, there's always next week.

Don't be sad, though, I told you I had a plan B. I still went shopping to the only store I really shop in in CT. I really wanted a pair of shorts. Anything else was going to be a bonus. I found a few things to try on...a couple of dresses, tops and a pair of denim shorts. One top looked ok, but I wasn't besotted by it and I don't need anything taking up space in my wardrobe if I don't love it. I did love the shorts though, dark denim, can be casual or dressy and are the perfect length. They were EXACTLY what I needed and they fit...no sticky-outtie side pockets like all the ones I own. These will be my summer staple bottoms.

Can I wear my new shorts with my Fit Flops on my date tomorrow night? I just have to figure out what top to wear (I have a couple I'm considering).

Sunday

I don't find out until some time towards the end of this week whether I'm pregnant. My friends keep asking if I feel pregnant. I feel no different to how I've always felt. How am I supposed to feel? I know the "symptoms", but I have none of them at the moment...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT FEELING PREGNANT FEELS LIKE.

The fertility drugs have given my body a brand new shape, kind of pear-ish. It doesn't matter how much yoga I've been doing or how far I've been walking in my MBTs my hips, butt and thighs just keep expanding. I now have front fat, back fat and a muffin top. The months of no exercise after my shoulder injury, I'm sure made my metabolism slow down, so the timing of all of this was not optimal but I do realize that it's all for a good cause and if all goes to plan, I'll be much bigger and promise not to complain about my weight. This is not boding well for my summer wardrobe though. Thankfully dresses and flowy tops are still in fashion, but none of my shorts from last year fit me...oh well, it's good I love shopping. I think I might go tomorrow. I was planning on going into NY, but I just watched the news and it's going to pour all day...grrrr. I do have a back up plan and will enforce it if need be.

My other news is that I have a date on Tuesday night. There's a story behind this (of course), but I'm not going to tell it until after the date....sorry, you'll just have to be patient.

N x

Monday July 21st

I'm typing this upside down. Having just returned from being inseminated at the Fertility Clinic, I am now lying on my bed with my legs up the wall.

Everything went "swimmingly" and the Doctor said it was my easiest one so far.

Cross your fingers and toes...

Oops

I forgot to post this....

I heard from the clinic on Friday afternoon. My hormone levels are great, had to have one more Follistim shot last night, Ovidrel tonight, insemination Monday morning.

Finally, the stars are aligning...Monday's my day off, so I have my romantic encounter with the super sperm, then I can go home and lie horizontal.

More on Monday

Damn, Damn, Damn

I looked at my list last weekend, the one with my 100 perfect-man traits. It needed some minor tweaking and now I'm happy with it.

So, on Wednesday night I went out with a couple of girlfriends. I'd been home all week due to me having to inject myself at 8pm every evening, so I decided I needed some socializing. Sitting at the bar was a guy, whom for all intensive purposes, was MY perfect man...according to my list. I could check off many many pluses. It was too good to be true.

We talked, we laughed, we had a couple of glasses of wine (c'mon, I don't drink every night and this will hopefully be my last week TO drink for a while), then, just when I started to think he was a nice guy, he turned out to be slimy, for want of a better word. When I got up to leave and said thank you and goodbye, he offered to walk me to my car (what a gentleman).

He then offered to follow me home to "make sure I made it home safely"

"I think I'll be just fine thanks, I really only have a five minute drive"

I'm sure some of you are thinking "perfect Baby Daddy material", because it certainly crossed my mind, but in order for this to happen, I'd have to have unprotected sex with a complete stranger and this is not something I'm prepared to do.

THEN, he tried to make out with me!!! WTF

There were at least four other girls at the bar who probably wouldn't have said no to his romantic proposition, but he picked the wrong one. Sucka please...

Funny thing was, I asked him what my name was and he couldn't tell me. I don't get it, this is coming from a very successful, good looking man who is in his mid 40's. Nothing about him screamed inappropriate, or lacking in social skills, but apparently they were there, well hidden.

The Universe was SO close, so very very close.

Super Sperm Update

July 17, 2008

The boys arrived safe and sound this morning.

They're resting comfortable at the clinic.

Decision Made

After speaking with the Consultative Services Manager at the Cryobank this afternoon, I made a decision on Baby Daddy # 2 (which hopefully will be #1).

They're very thorough and she told me the donor numbers in order of facial likeness to my chosen celebrity. I was also told their face shape (most had oval), the shape of their nose and whether it was in proportion to their face, eyebrows (they all had them), eye color, hair color and texture, chin shape (aka jaw line), and any redeeming facial features ie, dimples.

They also rate the donors from 1 - 10, 10 being the best, for similarities to the submitted photo, and attractiveness, or what the panel of judges deems attractive. Five out of 6 that I chose were 7 or 7.5 in likeness and the same in attractiveness. I was told the most they'd ever "awarded" for gorgeousness (my word, not hers), was 8.5. According to the panel, none of my prospective Daddies were THAT good looking.

I told her I'd look over the notes I'd just taken and call back in an hour or so. I HAD to make a decision today to have them ship it first thing in the morning so it's here for Thursday. I'm not being inseminated until Saturday, at the earliest, but the clinic wanted to be sure to get it in time.

There was something I didn't love about the top three contestants, so I went back to the search page. There, I found a donor I'd looked at last week and forgotten to add to my list. He didn't go through the second round of the competition, but I decided I liked him "sight unseen". My Baby Daddy's Super Sperm will be here on Thursday morning.

Also, I found out there's a form my Doctor can fill in regarding the low motility count from the last batch. I bought four vials and all of them have a lower than guaranteed motility count. I will probably be credited for them..as I should be.

Monday

Yesterday evening I started the injectibles. I was more nervous putting everything together, than actually sticking the needle in! For the next four nights at 8pm, I have to do the same thing. It takes all of 3 minutes. I'm also having acupuncture on Thursday after work.

Every morning, or most anyway, the same people are at the dog park. For the most part, we all know what's going on in each other's worlds. I, however, hadn't told anyone about this. Not for any reason in particular, just because I haven't. One of the girls, let's call her Arianna, and I are the only ones who are single, and we've become friends outside the "dog circle." We'd been talking lately about acupuncture. She goes somewhere local and I've been looking since I came back from Sydney, to start going to someone here, especially since I was starting injectibles. We were talking about it on Friday morning and one of the women said

"I'm an acupuncturist. I have a wellness center"

"Oh REALLY?"

And the questions followed.

I took her phone number, thankfully and called her on Friday after my scramble to get to the Fertility clinic. She'd gone for the day, so I left a message. I missed her call on Saturday because I was at the hairdresser, but saw her on Sunday at the park. I told her what I'm doing and she is more than happy to help me in any way she can. She told me she works a lot with the IVF Clinic in town, so she's had lots of experience with women and fertility issues. I'll tell you all about it on Thursday after I've been.

Arianna and I went out on Saturday night for drinks and a bite to eat. I told her over a glass of wine. I figure, it's certainly not a secret, the more people who know, the more support I have AND eventually I'm going to be pregnant and wont be able to hide that!!!

My week in a nutshell

Wow this week flew by. I'm not sure where it went, but this is what's been going on in my world...

On Tuesday, I had my blood test and ultrasound so they could determine what day I'd be ovulating (this blog is about me getting pregnant, remember?) I was told to take, or more rightly, inject myself with Ovidrel that night and to come back on Thursday morning to be inseminated.

So I did, and I was and now I wait two weeks. I know I have to be optimistic, and I am, for the most part, but when people say, third time lucky, or this will be the one...they don't know that. I realize they're just trying to be positive, and I'm thankful for that, but it's going to happen when it happens and I can't get my hopes up, or get really excited until I see a positive pregnancy test. Hence the posts about anything BUT me getting pregnant! Every month is the same as the previous one, so I figured you wanted to read more exciting stuff so you'd stick around.

That night I cooked myself dinner and burned my wrist (did quite a good job actually) and I wasn't even cooking meat. I was steaming broccoli and when it was done, I took the pan to the sink to drain out the water. The lid moved and I burned my wrist on the steam....OUCH. anyone who has seen it has cringed!
Rock on aloe vera gel.....it's my best friend right now.

Last Saturday night I went to see SATC with a couple of girl friends. As predictable as it was, I still liked it. Who wouldn't be in awe of the wardrobe changes, I mean, wow. Since seeing it, I've been noticing all the small groups of women out and about and it got me wondering what sort of friendships they have. My friends and I can say anything to one another, and we do. Hell, if your friends can't take constructive criticism or honesty, or talking about, well, anything and everything, then they're acquaintances and you need real friends.

While this is a platform for me being able to blurt out my thoughts and getting pregnant - which, in itself is usually private, there are certain aspects that only my closest friends and family are privy to, such as:

which donor I chose,
which Fit Flops I pre ordered

speaking of which....I got my MBTs on Wednesday and as soon as I went home, I put them on and dragged Ollie for a walk. It's been really hot and he apart from our morning walk and visit to the park to play with his friends, he really doesn't like going out. They are weird to walk in, but after you get the hang of it, they're quite comfortable. I took him again on Thursday morning, but my butt hasn't reduced in size yet. May need a couple more days!!!

Now it's Friday night and I have to work tomorrow, so it's off to bed for moi. Keep rooting for me, but please don't get all Hallmarky, just stay real ....

Saturday

My hormone levels are normal which means I can start Follistim tomorrow night. I have to inject myself once a day (in the evening) for five days, and give myself one shot of Ovidrel, then on Friday, I will be inseminated with my celebrity-resembling Super Sperm.

NO, I'm not telling who it is...stop asking....

TGI Friday

There I was talking to a customer today when euch, I got my period...A WEEK EARLY and wearing white shorts, nonetheless. That was awesome, as you can imagine!!!

I had to change gears (and gear) so as soon as the customer left, I called the fertility clinic to see if they could fit me in this afternoon. It was noon but being Friday, I HAD to go there today. They could see me at 3pm. Great.

I dashed home to change my outfit, then to the Doctor. Thankfully this is all five minutes from work .

Blood test, check, ultrasound, check, watch video on how to inject myself with Follistim, then go through it with the nurse, err, check. It didn't seem too terrible and I've spoken to girls who've done it and said it's easy. I have to wait for a phone call tomorrow with my blood results and if my hormone levels are ok, I can start on Sunday. That means insemination would be Friday and I STILL haven't made a decision on a new Baby Daddy...ARGH.

This is what I've decided to do this time. I'm having the sperm bank help me choose. They offer a service where you send them you top 1 - 6 or 7 - 12 prospective donors, and a photo of your dream Daddy. For couples who are using the sperm bank, they would submit a photograph of the husband. A counselor compares the donor numbers to the photo and rates them for facial characteristics. When I spoke with one of the counselors yesterday, she told me they receive lots of Brad Pitt and George Clooney photos!!!

One of my girlfriends offered to dress up like a man, take a photo and submit it.

*Skip to two hours later....

Ok, I submitted a celebrity pic. I have a friend who lives in California whose photo I would have loved to have used, but after me subtly asking, and him not sending, and now having to hurry, I found three male celebrities who he kind of looks like. I then narrowed it down to one, filled out the form and as I was about to hit "checkout" (yes, it really says that), I changed my mind on the guy. Also being an A Lister, I was able to find the perfect photo of him, download it and emailed my order. I called the sperm bank to make sure it was received. The woman who answered the phone, told me he's someone she would have chosen.

Yup, I'm sure she says that to everyone.....

I'm in love...

No, I think it's just lust at the moment. It's not a guy, don't worry you haven't missed anything...shoes, I'm talking about shoes. These aren't even gorgeous, incredibly expensive, wish they were a teensy bit more comfortable, gotta have these shoes either. They're practical and functional...sneakers and flip flops.

Last week, after leaving my sneakers outside, overnight in a downpour (no one said anything about rain), then being unable to walk in the morning as I only have one pair and the fact they now, even after they've dried completely, smell faintly moldy, I decided I need a new pair. I remembered one of my friends telling me about a pair that she bought right before she got pregnant...NO that's not why I'm buying them and saying while they weren't stylish by any stretch of the imagination, they're comfortable and they help tone your legs and butt. Now, who wouldn't jump at that? So, I started researching them. They're called MBTs. I don't usually like to tell people what I buy until I've worn it enough that it doesn't matter. I do realize there is more than one produced of each article of clothing I buy, but I like to be a bit unique.

I found the one pair I liked. By liked, I mean could wear in public. Wait til you see them, they look like clunky, orthopedic nurse shoes. So I started looking online where I could buy them. I'm all about instant gratification and I could NOT find these damn shoes anywhere. I looked at one of the department store websites...they were there, but the size wasn't and the next shipment isn't until the beginning of September...get out, I want them now. Ooooh, they have live chat on their site, and they were extremely helpful. I was given the locations and phone numbers of their closest stores, who seemed to have my shoes. After two unsuccessful attempts...jackpot...third time lucky, as they say. Now, these are not inexpensive shoes, but I figure if they do what their supposed it, they'll be worth it.

Then, I heard about another pair of shoes that work on the same concept, but these are perfect for summertime. These, I subsequently found out, were on Oprah not long ago and are now THE shoe to have...Fit Flops. This fact alone would normally have put me off buying them altogether, but they are just flip flops at the end of the day. They're definitely not something I'd wear on a date, but I work on a concrete floor and I think I'll be able to wear them all day without pain. Then I had to search out the ones I wanted, which, of course, aren't being shipped until the end of this month, but I figure it's only 3 weeks away and I love having things delivered!!!

I've never seen anyone wearing Fit Flops. I suppose I'd never taken any notice because the next day, three women came in to the store wearing them...all at different times. It was so funny. We got to hear whether they're worth the investment first-hand. Yes, the unanimous response was definitely yes. These, whist not quite as inexpensive as Havianas, or Crocs (love them for dog walking or after yoga), are better for your posture and mold themselves to your foot....no sharing Fit Flops.

Now I wait patiently for my MBTs which should be here tomorrow...they BETTER be...patience is not one of my attributes.

Sidebar #1: there's another word to add the post below...mold/mould

Sidebar #2: I just got off the phone with the friend I mentioned above. She was extolling the virtues of her MBTs. She told me I had made a wise decision...yay me.

You've got it, now please use it...

I'm a stickler for good spelling and grammar. I'm all for using slang words or abbreviations, but spelling errors in this, the age of "spell check", are unacceptable in my book. I realize there are a few times where words get missed or are spelled differently depending whether you live in a metric or imperial country. Americans spell words differently to Australians and Europeans and that's just the way it is...they don't like to use the letter "u" as often as other countries (honor/honour, neighbor/neighbour). There are many other spelling variations, but you get my drift.

So when I read emails, the first thing that jumps out at me is a typo. I've told you I have my profile on a dating site and every now and again, when I'm home with nothing else to do, I look at men's profiles. I am floored by the horrible spelling and poor grammar and this is from guys who say they are professional business men...c'mon. And if I receive an email from one of these lazy spellers...DELETE. Like I said, a word here or there isn't a deal breaker. Here's one I hadn't deleted...when you read this, you'll understand...

your mom wood approve I'M A DOCTORRRRRRRRR!
YOur looks knock me out!!! I luv european women? check me out

Yeah, ummm, no thanks. I think I'll pass...oh and he has a mustache (what guy could possibly think growing just a mo is sexy?)

I've even received resumes with spelling mistakes....not just two letters typed the wrong way around, but proper errors that spending another 3 minutes spell checking could make the difference of a job or not. Are people really just lazy. We have computers, so there's no need to white out mistakes, or re-write a page of notes, you just hit the delete key and begin again and when you're finished, all that needs to be done is to SPELL CHECK it.

I think I'm rambling a bit today. I had absolutely NO sleep last night. It's 95 degrees here and we had a terrible storm yesterday afternoon. Lightening hit a rather large tree which in turn fell and took the power lines with it. At 5pm the power to the neighborhood (I live in the US, so I can spell it like that) was cut and it wasn't put back on until 10am. Needless to say, without air conditioning, neither Ollie nor myself could sleep. He was panting so much I thought he was going to have a stroke. Finally at 4.50 this morning, I got up, put him in the car and went to the store where I knew he would cool down on the concrete floor and I could recharge my Blackberry, and cool down a bit also.

Now Ollie's fast asleep in my bedroom (where the ac is) and I am going out to run some Monday errands, but not before I spell check this.....

Sunday

Not so sure about naming your baby after one of the days of the week. Sunny is cute as a name and I get that Sunday is MUCH more sophisticated, but it's a day of the week and not even the one she was born on. It is the only one that's a suitable name though. I couldn't imagine a baby being called Thursday, or Saturday, or any of the other four days, although Wednesday Adams was a dark and mysterious child!

I do congratulate Nicole and Keith. I know this has been a long time coming.

I'm still shopping the sperm bank. I've narrowed my choices down to five....that's from eleven!!! I have one more week to make my final choice. This is not like buying a new pair of jeans or shoes online. I can't send it back if it doesn't.

Oh, and I heard from my ex neighbor again. He called to say hi and tried to tell me he was only kidding when he offered. I shot him down and told him that was bullshit...to which he laughed and asked if I was famous.

Huh?

"Well, my wife and I have a deal that we can sleep with someone else as long as they are famous. So, if you can get yourself into a magazine, you'll be famous and I can help you."

"Hmmm, firstly you might want to ask your wife whether getting the said famous person pregnant, is part of the deal and second, did you not read my texts to you last week about NOT WANTING TO KNOW the Baby Daddy if I'm not in a relationship with him???"

"I'll be in your hood tomorrow or the next day, so I'll call you and pop into the store so we can discuss it further"

Yay...I'm not even being subtle about saying NO, I told him straight out and he's STILL trying to sell me on the idea!!!

Discrimination

I dropped my prescriptions at the pharmacy for on Monday and picked them up yesterday because I didn't have to start the Clomid until tonight. I couldn't believe it when i went to pay...My lovely insurance company is no longer covering any of the fertility drugs for me because I'm OVER 40. I have no idea why they covered the last 2 cycles...I turned 41 in February, but the Ovidrel went from $30 to $102. I called the insurance company this morning to inquire as to their reasoning. The woman couldn't give me a real one except to say:

"We only cover to 40"
"Ok, so you'll cover me when I GET pregnant, but you won't cover me TO GET pregnant?"
"That's right."

Am I missing something? Isn't this discrimination? Who makes up the rule that after 40 you shouldn't be able to get pregnant any other way than au naturel? A man, I'll bet. I don't get it...why am I any different now than I was 6 months ago?

I was telling this to a girl friend this morning. She lives in Sydney and we chat via BlackBerry Messenger in the mornings when I'm walking Ollie and she's going to bed, and in the evenings when I'm cooking dinner and she's going to work. I was telling her about the health insurance thing and we agreed that this past month had seemed to go very slowly, waiting for my period, and how she feels somehow she's in this together with me, which was very sweet. Then the next message I get, which is SO like her, just to go off on a tangent in the middle of an in depth conversation (it's one of her redeeming qualities) is

"The new elephant at the zoo is pregnant"

"Gee thanks"

While I don't wish to be pregnant for twenty two months, the lack of shopping would start to wear on me I think, I'd really love to join the elephant in the experience.

Not sure how I'd cope with this

This kinda freaked me out and is another reason I was dubious about the sperm bank thing...

Update

My ex neighbor is STILL gung ho about being my Baby Daddy. The text messages were not few and far between yesterday.

He was going to be in town.

He was going to pop in and say hi.

He was sorry if he offended me and wanted to know what he could do to make it up to me...this came after a couple of hours because I never responded to the first two.

I told him I wasn't offended I just don't understand how he can offer this, being married and all.

His response was that he's a friend and he wants me to have a baby.

Still not sold on this.

Now, here's the doozy.....His next message asked me whether we need lawyers.

NO NO NO. This is the exact reason I do not want to do this...well, one of two. I told him I don't want to be tied to anyone I'm not in a relationship with because I don't want him to have a say in what I do, or suddenly decide he wants joint custody some time in the future. No Siree. That's why I'm shopping for my Baby Daddy online.

The last text from him was that he'd like to discuss this later. He was probably home by this time with his WIFE and baby.

Wednesday July 2nd

Just to keep you all in the loop, my date last week was blah. He was a "nice" guy, but there was no chemistry and he lost me at...

"A good sense of humor seems very important to you."

Isn't it on everyone's list? Am I being too specific? I think not. Anyway, after he kept emailing me, asking if I wanted to get together again, I was honest with him and said I like him as a person, but felt no chemistry. He said he didn't either....whatever.

I was in NY on Monday, and went to the farmers market in Union Square. Nothing rivals it, in my opinion....eventhough most of the space has been dug up, not sure what's being done, and all the vendors are squished into a much smaller space. I had to make two trips to my car to unload my purchases...brocolli, beets, garlic, bread, salad mix, cherries, blueberries, and on and on....everything's there, and just been picked.

I'd decided to look at the meat, it's less embarassing talking to the market people about cuts of lamb or cow and what to do with them, than in a big store where I have to yell over the counter. A girl came up behind me, said hi, with an Australian accent, to the stall owner and asked about chickens, or eggs, not sure which came first (had to put that in). Then she realized I was there before her and apologized for cutting in. I said it's fine and she should go ahead and yes I'm also Australian. We started with the obligitory "where are you from?" questions. It turned out we'd both had businesses in the same suburb in Sydney at the same time. I used to eat in her cafe and she shopped in my boutique (this was at least 10 years ago, mind you).

Yet another small world story.